My house is a BIG Super Smash Bros. house.  We play all the time and even though the kid is usually much better than me at any character there are a few times when I can beat the pants off of him.  We love the newest(ish) WiiU version and all of the characters included with it.  I love the DLC characters most of all including Street Fighter’s Ryu, Final Fantasy VII’s Cloud, and Bayonetta.

Smash fans always want more.  More characters.  No matter how many characters are in the games there is wish list after wish list to have more and more and more and more characters in the game.  There is Super Smash Flash 2 on the computer which is a pretty fun game and has a multitude of characters not available in an actual Smash Bros. game.  And then there’s the characters that I want – which I would love to see in Smash.  You would think that some of the characters I want would have “limited” attack moves but the programmers of these games usually do a great job coming up with attacks.  I mean how many attacks do you think Pac-Man would have?  Slim to none.  Villager from Animal Crossing?  Like nada.  Yet they do a good job loading them up with a great skill set.  But I’m still not satisfied.  So here is my list of Top 5 Characters I Would LOVE To See In Smash…:

POPEYE

The first one is almost a no-brainer to me.  Popeye, Nintendo, and video games go way back to the early 80’s when Shigeru Miyamoto was trying to come up with a new video game.  Nintendo had been pursuing the rights to Popeye to make a game but, when they were unsuccessful, Miyamoto converted his ideas over to what would become Donkey Kong.  I guess King Features liked what they saw in Donkey Kong because Nintendo soon got hold of the rights to Popeye and released a Popeye game a year after Donkey Kong (a game which remains a favorite of mine to this very day).

Popeye is great because he’s a lover and a fighter.  The dude is tough and brawling is something Popeye is pretty much known for.  So what is stopping him from eating that spinach and jumping into the ring to fight Pikachu, Kirby, and Link?  I’m not quite sure.  But just think about the dude’ s Final Smash.  Olive Oyl can pop up, throwing hearts down to Popeye, and as he collects them he just gets more and more powerful, swinging at his opponents harder and harder, until each characters is just completely pummeled out of the stage.You would think with Nintendo’s history with Popeye that acquiring one of their “original video game characters” would just make sense.  Popeye is not a massive cartoon character anymore (not like the late 70’s/early 80’s when they were still making Popeye Saturday morning cartoons and a live-action feature film) so you would think that snagging him for Smash would be so much more simple than negotiations in the 80’s.

BONK

I recently did some Let’s BADLY Plays for Bonk’s Adventure (on the NES) and Bonk’s Revenge (on the Gameboy).  It really brought me back to how fun the character truly was.  Bonk was the closest thing to a mascot that the Turbo-Grafx 16 had – though having 3 games on 2 Nintendo systems didn’t help NEC’s cause.  What more can you say about a kid who spins around in a circle bonking bad guys with his head?!?  And when he eats meat?  Dude gets meaner.  More meat?  SUPER MEAN.

The character is just a ton of fun and he was helped by really tight controls.  But when it comes to fighting can you not see Bonk running around smashing Mario or Samus with his head?  And maybe as his percentage goes up he can eat meat just to get to “super tough” and/or “super mean” Bonk.  Bonk’s Revenge had some weird abilities you could get when you ate the meat so maybe all these different abilities from all three Bonk games could be put into Bonk’s skill set.

And guess what?  Bonk is super cute too.  Look at the guy!  How can you hate on this bald headed kid wearing a…um…loincloth?  Kinda looks like a skirt….but I won’t hate on you, Bonk.  You wear whatever the hell you want.  As Nintendo looks to continue to expand their Smash Bros line-up I think that acquiring Bonk would be one hell of a smart move.

MIKE JONES

StarTropics definitely gets no love from Nintendo.  Maybe it is because even though the games were made in Japan they were actually made with an American audience in mind.  The first game sold well here but the sequel came out at the end of the NES lifespan.  After that?  The game has been forgotten about.  They did have the game in last year’s NES Classic Edition which I thought was a huge surprise.  Nintendo didn’t forget ALL ABOUT StarTropics I suppose.

You just have to love StarTropics protagonist Mike Jones.  He comes to kick ass and take names.  He may not have a sword or can shoot fireballs but that doesn’t mean the “ace pitcher” isn’t without a plethora of weapons.  Mike has a yo-yo which once powered up to the Super Nova is one hell of a weapon.  He also has his trusty baseball bat which is always good in a fight.  He also uses items in the games like a bola, a slingshot, a baseball, a ray gun, and even a torch.  There’s also a mirror he can use for defense which could come in handy.

Nintendo literally has to come up with NOTHING for the character.  His skill set and weapons are already there, ripe for the taking.  Why they decide to shun Mike Jones even though he has all this fabulous weaponry is beyond me.  Again – I think its because the games aren’t as well known.  But StarTropics had two games on the NES to Kid Icarus’ one!  Yet Pit gets all sort of Kid Icarus characters in the latest Smash Bros.  Come on Nintendo…this is literally a no-brainer.

BANDANA WADDLE DEE

Bandana Waddle Dee was not initially on my list.  I struggled with having characters like Shantae (a fan favorite to be added to the series) or Sly Cooper (who has appeared in Sony’s Playstation All Stars Battle Royale) included.  Plus the latest Smash has Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede.  Did we really need even more Kirby characters???

The answer is…why not.  Look at Mario…he has himself, Luigi, Peach, Rosalina, Yoshi, and Bowser.  If you want to get technical you can add in Donkey Kong.  Kirby is one MONSTER franchise for Nintendo so why not have another Kirby character?

Bandana Waddle Dee can use a whole slew of items to include spears, wands, and parasols.  He is also capable of multiple jumps which would be really cool to have in a Smash Bros game.  And finally?  I think he would just be a lot of fun to play.  His Final Smash could be a couple dozen Waddle Dees running over everything (and everyone) that got in their way.  Did I mention super cute?  WAY super cute.

PARAPPA THE RAPPER

So this would never happen in a million years.  Sony would never let one of “their characters” fight in Smash Bros, would they?  I would say it would be doubtful but let’s face it…PaRappa is part of a bygone era and they have no desire to produce new PaRappa games.  So why not let him mosey on over to Nintendo?  Have him fight some Mario?  I’m sure it would even be more advantageous for Sony then it would for Nintendo with PaRappa’s inclusion.

Literally make a new PaRappa game, give Nintendo the rights to have the character in Smash, let Nintendo release the new Smash, THEN let loose the new PaRappa game.  The kids would eat that shit up (and us old people would buy the game simply for nostalgia sake).

What would PaRappa’s fighting moves be?  I’ll admit that it may be a bit basic.  I think his 2-D look would just be fantastic in Smash.  To counter PaRappa you could even include new character Paper Mario.  Can you imagine Paper Mario fighting PaRappa the Rapper?  I would buy Smash day one.  I’d pre-order second one.  I’d beg and plead to have PaRappa fighting Pikachu or Kirby.  And his Final Smash?  Whip out that microphone and just lay down a funky rap verse.  That’ll send the characters flying off the stage.

AGREE?  DISAGREE?  LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!