Marvel Generations is coming Summer 2017 with the brilliant idea of teaming up old versions of Marvel characters with new ones. Bruce Banner and Amadeus Cho! Tony Stark and Riri Williams! Peter Parker and Miles Morales! Thor and Jane Foster Thor! Logan and X-23! Finally we can see characters meet their very unimaginative counterparts and go off on some amazing adventures. Have I mentioned how excited I am that no one created new characters at Marvel anymore?!?!?
But there are so many great team-ups that unfairly didn’t make the list. This is who I would have loved to have seen get their own Marvel Generations one-shots…
SPEEDBALL AND PRISON ROBBIE
Steve Ditko’s plucky 80’s creation probably would have done better in 1960s Marvel. But this would be a time travel adventure into the future where the Masked Marvel just meets himself in prison and learns the joys of rape, heroin use, toilet wine, and how to make a shiv out of a toothbrush. This team-up can happen in one of those rooms where they are separated by glass and have to talk on those phones. Bonus points if Robbie’s roommate is Schillinger for some odd reason.
MCU NICK FURY AND ULTIMATE NICK FURY
The gruff one eyed World War 2 vet will finally team up with Samuel L. Jackson for a very excellent adventure. When Hydra agents make it onto the helicarrier and all of SHIELD’s agents are knocked out by sleeping gas, it is up to Samuel and Nick to save the day. Mark Millar will write this one and he better write, “Get these motherfucking Hydra off this motherfucking helicarrier.” The other Nick Fury will just roll his eye.
SPIDER-HAM AND THE SCARLET SPIDER
When Peter Porker appears in the MCU he goes off to look for his counterpart. He spots him in a New York deli only to find out it’s Ben Reilly. Still… the two decide to suit up and have an adventure together. Finally they find and take on Stilt Man. Because…I hate Stilt Man. Bonus points if Ben is eating a pulled pork sandwich at the deli.
HOWARD THE DUCK AND THE DUCK PHONE
There’s no secret that Howard is one of my favorite characters. Him on the Jersey Shore would have been hilarious. This issue has Howard on the duck phone calling back home to Beverly. It’s basically 24 pages of dialogue while fending off the advances of a drunk Snooki and the other being real cast members pissed that they can’t call a cab. I understand this idea may have gone over better nine years ago…but I’m willing to overlook that for a Marvel cartoon version of Pauly D. Written by Brian Michael Bendis because the man knows dialogue.
BETA RAY BILL AND JANE FOSTER THOR
Because, let’s face it, this is simply the better team up.
STAR LORD AND TONY MANERO
Dance off, bro!
ANCIENT ONE AND ANCIENT ONE
In this adventure the Ancient One is shocked to learn a non-Asian is cast as him in the Doctor Strange movie. Tilda and Kevin Feige would sit down and let him know that it’s a mantle passed down from generation to generation. In the end the Ancient One calls bullshit and banishes them to the lower gates of Hell.
ANCIENT ONE AND MOONDRAGON
They don’t even need to fight anyone. I think shopping in Manhattan would be fun plus dinner at Lucky Cheng’s. Maybe a Sinead O’Connor show at Radio City. Finish it off by a trip backstage and this one just writes itself.
IRON FIST AND AN ASIAN GUY
Danny Rand is walking the streets when some guy starts going off on him about racial appropriation. The guy points to an article on Gizmodo about why an Asian-American Iron Fist would generally have made for a better show. This happens in Chinatown so Iron Fist ends up verbally berated by a number or people. Shang Chi makes a guest appearance but only ends up pointing and laughing at Danny.
P.S. I’m actually excited about the Carol Danvers / Mar-Vell team-up. Finally a chance to say fuck you cancer. I know you’ve brought him back before Marvel but those resurrections were pretty lame. So don’t screw this one up. Brie Larson and Jim Starlin will both be watching.